New Family Member

Yesterday my sister had 10 pound 4 ounce baby girl. Peyton Elizabeth is the newest addition to the family and I couldn't be happier. Being an Uncle for a fourth time is great and I love each of them greatly. Family is very important to me and this has put everything that has happened in perspective.

I know that I needed to have this surgery and I will need another one, maybe two in the future. As suckie as that is, life, family, and personal goals are what really matter. Fifty years ago I would be counting life in years on one hand. Now, I have this opportunity. I love my family and friends. I get to create a family of my own when I get married later this year. Not to get all mushy but we are all on borrowed time and we need to evaluate what we want.

Life will keep on ticking and I will enjoy everyone in mine. (I still may be an ass but, hey, that's me). I am not "born again" because as my newest niece and sister just proved your only born once. I'm not sure what my point is, maybe just be aware of yourself. I'm just happy at this moment for my Sister, Brother-in-law and the rest of my family.

Keyboard Therapy

One of the byproducts of this surgery was getting a keyboard. Not just any keyboard but a ypg-635. Those of you I work with know of this model as I spoke of it for years. It was a surprise from Dena (Kristies mom), my mom and brother. Dena went out and purchased it while I was in the hospital and set it up in Kristies Apartment. It was a great surprise after getting back and the questions Kristie asked about model numbers when I was doped up made sense.

Why am I going on about this keyboard? Because I have played it everyday. I am not great and only know a few songs but It makes me feel good. They say music is therapeutic and from my experience it is. I can't place it but when I play the pain goes away. I lose track of time. I am so focused the the combination of notes and chords that everything goes away.

After awhile it takes it out of me. Not being a hundred percent is very aggravating. Anyways, playing isn't something I always did. My grandmother use to yell at me when I touched her piano. I didn't start playing until after college and I'm glad I did. If I feel down, I'll play. Happy, I'll play. It doesn't matter what I play just that I continue to better myself.

One of the best features is that the keyboard connects right to a computer and can record and arrange songs. So, I started to think. Why not score my own media. I have goals and this is getting me closer. I hope everyone can have something that helps them the way this helps me. 

Pain and Creativity: An Update

Things are slowly getting back to normal. Scabs on chest are getting better, greater arm motion, and hair on legs and chest are growing back. Yes, if you did not know they shaved the inside of my legs in case they needed to take a vein. Fortunately for me the one in my neck did fine. 

Slowly but surely things are getting better. I am still sleeping a ton but I'm just doing what my body tells me. Last night I fell asleep on the couch after watching "Unfaithfully Yours" and this morning my body was screaming. It was hard to ignore my body cursing me for falling asleep with out my pain meds, I tried, but it was too pissed off. I had to take two pills to get back to normal. I really don't like popping the pills but I like being able to move better.  

Other then that, things are going well. I am watching a ton of television and movies and I feel my mind getting a little slower. On the other hand I have a ton of ideas for television and movies. Look out, Jon is gonna have a creative explosion and some of it might get on you. I'm excited to start putting some of this stuff into action and some of you will be called upon to help. Oh great more work. 

Superman Slippers

Before I went in for surgery Kristie suggested that I get some slippers.  She has never pointed me in the wrong direction, since I love and trust her we picked up a pair. At first I deliberated over what style and color to get. After five minutes, Targets store closing reminder hurried me to choose the old man slip-on style in Navy blue.

I did not wear them in the hospital. They were there but I did not wear them. Kristie suggested that I try them on. I was fine in the hospital issue socks with the industrial grip on the bottom. (I wonder if you can pick them up at Target?)

Finally after the hospital and about a day after laying around (Well not really laying cause it hurts too much, more like being propped up on a couch) I broke out the slippers. I placed them down and slid in them all old man like...what happened next might shock you...I liked them. I really liked them. 

I have not owned a pair of slippers in my adult life. The last pair I had was when I was Five. I thought the reason I loved them was because the had Superman on them. I pretended that since I had Superman on my slippers they would make me fly. I thought that's why I loved them...but it was because slippers are super comfortable. The slippers did not in fact make me fly but I'm sure they made me feel like I was walking on clouds. That's how I feel now.

I like slippers. I am an idiot for not wearing them past age Six. Someone should have stopped me at Ten, the latest, and showed me my errors. The great thing about slippers is that you can get them in many shapes, size, characters. I have seen giant "Bigfoot" slippers and pink slippers and snowman slippers and Sponge Bob slippers and on and on. The one thing that I realized (besides that slippers are comfy) is that we all need to feel like we are Five. 

I loved feeling like I could fly cause of Superman slippers, why not feel like I can crush the earth with big furry "Bigfoot" slippers. If that makes my weekend morning, so what?... slippers made me happy. They are making me happy right now. I now know that in our big, grown-up, serious life, a little cow slipper can make you feel your five-year-old spirit and that's O.K. with me.     

Someday Has A Date

What is it that you expect from yourself? I have expected to go to college, work for a media company, and write a script. I have done all those with little sense of accomplishment. Not to say I don't value them, just that I did what I expected to do. If I went to the store to get grapes, I'm not going to get overly happy when I bring home grapes because I knew what I wanted and knew what I had to do get them. (You want grapes now.)

Overly simple example? Maybe but one thing this surgery has done is put perspective to "someday." 

Someday - I want to write another script

Someday - I want to go back to Europe

Someday - I want to make a movie

I need to put a date to the "somedays."

I don't know what life holds for me three years from now but I do know what day of the week May 19th 2012 will fall on. So why not say I want to go to Warsaw that week? Write it down. It may or may not happen that week but once it down it's a priority and you expect to do it.

Like most of you I expect to achieve my long list of goals. But, until recently they were on my someday list. I know most of you heard something like this before. This minor event in my life really brought to light things I have already held true. Time moves in one direction. Just because you not sick and able bodied does not mean you always will be. Life happens and it will happen with you or to you but it always happens.

I jumped out of a plane and had open heart surgery. Neither have been the scariest or most daunting task I have faced. I will not be defined by my job or events that happen to me. Someday has a date and I need to assign them.  

Stuff Is Tired

The great thing is I can do stuff. I'm not limited by machines or hoses, but stuff is tired. I went to see Angels and Demons the other day and it wiped me out that night. Today I played the piano while my friend Rick played the guitar. It was fun. We did it for a couple of hours but soon after I was almost napping.

I am getting a glimpse at being a geriatric. They can't help but be tired at 3pm then again at 6pm. Also, I understand getting up in the middle of the night with creaking bones making my way to the restroom and then taking a pill. Kristie got a guy that was barley an adult then Poof  she gets someone who is into early bird specials (wait I was into that before).

I do appreciate that I have the ability to be active this soon after the surgery but, the activity has some consequences. I follow all the rules sent from the Doctors but every now and then I feel my sternum move against itself. The bone will shift ever-so slightly, it feels natural but totally odd at the same time. I know the breastbone is "wired" together but it does take three weeks for it to fuse. Until then I guess I just go with the flow. I never knowingly broke a bone (I probably have) so being aware of the healing is also being aware of the healing ache. There is a warm ache at the point where the bones meet, again odd but feels natural.

As far as the ol' ticker, it's going fine. No pain or fluttering. It feel normal, even though this "normal" feeling is new to me. I am lucky to have people coming over, calling and e-mailing. Your contact means a great deal. Oh, as far as Angels and Demons, better then the Da Vinci Code. It is missing many sub-stories from the novel but as a film holds up better. Less was more in this case. Where Da Vinci Code dragged this one moved, besides this story, as opposed to Da Vinci, was better suited for a film. I'd say 3 of 4.  

I Heart Poop

It's crazy, I knew things were going to be different. I knew of the pills and the pain and the recoup time, but there were things that took me off guard. Like, in the hospital, they wanted me to keep track of how often and how much I peed. I now understand that they wanted to know kidneys and other organs were working correctly. Fine to know in hind site, but for a few days, I felt like Howard Hughes.

Now, I have these pain pills that are great every 4 -6 hours, but they make me sweat. I did not think that a week and a half ago, I would be chemically simulating menopause. I spoke with the nurses, and everything is fine and my body temp is normal. I just am one of the lucky ones that wakes up in the morning having already taken a shower in my own dirty sweat. At least Kristie is staying dry.

Also, another benefit for being pain free is being backed up. Yep, I know most of you don't need to know this, but what the hell? You might learn something, right? Now, I knew hardcore narcotics would bind me up, thank you Trainspotting, but so will the CVS ones. I load up on the fiber, prune juice, and over the counter ass-lax and sometimes nothing. I miss the days when commercials during the Price Is Right didn't speak to me.

For now, I'm just gonna be sitting and waiting every couple days for that magic moment. The moment where I think Wilford Brimmly speaking for Colon-Blow is a waste of money and where fecal matter flows like lumpy cake batter.